Woke up bright and early yesterday (more like 10:00, but that's okay). Dad and Grampy went out wine tasting, and I was home alone for a while. It's funny to go from living with a significant other to living with the family again (Micah's doing well by the way, for those who know and love the man). When you live with someone, you're kind of like one person, and what you do affects them like they affect you. But with multiple people, it's sort of every man for himself, in a good way. I cleaned my room and watched Wife Swap (best show of all time), and just sort of bummed around and enjoyed being alone for a while. Ate a succulent green pear for breakfast, and eventually made my way to Saratoga to see my Mom and Henry.
Mom made a beeeautiful dinner of sashimi and edamame, with chicken wings and other finger foods, and the three of us watched the Hangover and had ourselves a grand old time. I do admit that I ate more than I should have (and drank like three Stellas- oh no! :) But we had a wonderful family time. I think sitting around the dinner table does a lot for the family group, and this has been true since the beginning of families. There's something that happens around the dinner table that doesn't really happen anywhere else. There's a bonding and sharing that's sort of irreplaceable, and I wouldn't want to miss out, sit out, or otherwise not involve myself in this time. Even if it does mean straying from my strict diet.
However, I do feel like I have sort of lost the discipline I thought I had going for me the past few days. To correct this, I think I'm going to try a three-day, strict fast again. I have noticed that being around food, especially preparing it, makes it pretty difficult to avoid the desire to eat (duh), and therefore I have found myself struggling to maintain discipline at work. There's just something about the smell of frying onions, and soup and steamed milk and chocolate croissants that makes my tummy grumble, and makes chugging water to fill myself up particularly dissatisfying. So I'm going to take advantage of my three days off (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday) to at least drink only juice and water, and not eat.
I'm still perfecting this fasting thing, and I feel like putting forth a good effort is a big part of it. Also, I've been pretty optimistic and positive thus far, and I don't want to lose that by slowly losing the drive, discipline, and willpower that I have achieved. I think giving myself a couple of days to eat fruit and drink more water before a the three days of true fasting is a good idea. Plus, it will feel good to see a couple more pounds drop off the scale. I went to the Happy Dragon thrift store in Los Gatos today, and was very happy to fit into every pair of pants I tried on. (I mean, really. When was the last time that happened?) I even bought myself a pair, even though I'm probably going to be a different size in another couple of weeks. But the jeans were four dollars, and I'll feel good wearing them and feeling skinny. Keeping myself happy is a nice part of this experience, and beneficial in both boosting morale and keeping myself motivated.
Also, thank you for all the positive support I've gotten online and in "real" life; it's really made a big difference, and it's good to know I'm not blogging to an empty room with chirping crickets. I invite anyone who wants to to join me, even just for the three-day mini fast. Three days is what I initially fasted for, and my sense of smell and taste are still somewhat heightened from just those couple of days, I think. It's definitely a new experience, if nothing else. I was told today that purposefully straying from the norm to see what happens is a sign of true introspection, and that only good can come of it. Come on, you know you want to try...
Just catching up with you Caroline...sounds like you have this under control and have found a way of making the fast work for you.
I'm so proud of you! Well done...
and..well, Carry on!!!
:)
Posted by: Karen Stevens | 01/14/2010 at 08:24 AM