Went to work again today, and between running up and down the stairs carrying gallons of milk and PA systems and mic stands, and doing load after load of dishes, I realized that I was not really on top of my game. I served someone a caffinated drink instead of decaff, although I realized my mistake just in time. I saw that I was about to pinch my finger in the mic stand I was setting up, but couldn't not do it in time and pinched myself anyway. I've even been making many more typos than usual, and stumbling over my words, or forgetting them for a moment. Weird stuff.
So, like yesterday, I ate a tiny portion of food and felt WAY better! This time it was about two inches of red bean and rice soup in the bottom of an 8-ounce cup, and within a few minutes I felt like a new woman. But I also felt totally full, like I couldn't eat any more if I wanted to. Then I got really warm, and felt refreshed, like after a good nap. Once again, I don't regret this decision at all.
This brings me to the conclusion that maybe I shouldn't be limiting myself to nothing but water and feeling like crap, but instead I should come up with my own plan, which is what I have done. I will wake up in the morning and drink nothing but water until I feel hungry (not the regular everyday hunger, but hardcore hunger), which is usually around five in the evening. Then I will see if I can push through the hunger by filling up on water and chewing gum, which generally works. If this does not work, I will eat something small enough to fit in the palm of my hand. This means fruit, veg, etc. Not a ball of chocolate that I can barely hold. This is my new plan, and I like it : )
I just don't want to feel so bad that I no longer want to to this "fast" (not really a fast anymore, is it?), but I don't want to really break it yet. And when I have had those two tiny (and I must emphasize, tiny) meals, I have felt so much better that it gives me new enthusiasm and wonder that such a small amount of sustenance can make such a difference. Before the fast, I never would have believed that I can run effectively on a couple mouthfuls of soup, but the rest of the night, I felt great.
Also, I have lost 12 pounds since I started the fast. Even if this small intake of calories means the weight loss will not be as significant, I really can't complain. But I figure there's a lot of room between eating normally, and eating absolutely nothing. We will see how my plan develops, but I'm optimistic.
Hi Caroline, I am so impressed with how you are coping. Keep going!
Love, Kristina
Posted by: Kristina Kurz | 01/06/2010 at 11:57 AM